No one wants to have their heart crushed. But being wounded in deep places happens. Sometimes it just seems to be a part of the rhythm of life.
And when these hard times come, we feel it all so very deeply. And we wonder if others have these hard, hard moments. After all, we don't snap pictures of the crushing times and post them on Facebook or Instagram. (I DON'T definetely do that.).

We just wonder if we have what it takes to survive ...... when someone you love closes their heart and turns their back on you.....when we feel so utterly incapable and unable and afraid.
I believe you know the tear-filled place from which I speak. Our Heavenly Father says He knew it too, the crushing-heart feeling. He felt it. He wrestled with it. He carried it.

When your heart is hurting, soak in His love and let Him heal. Try not to rehearse all the stuff...just focus on Him... He will sort it all out for you. He loves you so much and really cares about what you are going through. It is all going to be good because He is!
I wasn’t excited about the journey, but I began to find peace in my circumstances. I began to understand that God won’t leave us where we are, in our comfort zone, in complacency. Those he loves, he disciplines,  and he challenges. I began to sense that he loves me so much that he allowed these awful circumstances into my life to mold me, shape me into the woman He wants me to be. I began to sense that he had a greater purpose for my pain, one that was not obvious to me at the time. I began to see that he was using these difficulties for my good and his glory.

God has been molding me and shaping me through out the year. Many times I fail Him and shatter all that work into a million pieces. I blow it. I disappoint Him and other people—I disappoint myself. I do the things I know I shouldn’t do. I fall into sin. I say I’ll never do it again, and then I repeat the same mistake. I don’t understand how God could care even the slightest bit about me. In fact, at times I just feel like a big, ugly mess.
But the beautiful thing is that God is in the business of not only LOVING broken people, but also sweeping up all the broken pieces and gluing them back together for His purpose.
I didn't understand God could make me strong and courageous -- by being broken. I was still young in my journey of faith. It wasn't time for me back then, as a girl who is so naïve, to understand it takes greater faith to be broken than being complete.
My soul is awaken from each painful stage I've been through. I have step out from my numbness of pain to give thanks. Not because I'm strongest. Not because everything is picture perfect. But because I have something this year I've never had before.

I am complete in Jesus Christ. I have a heart that is becoming real. I'm thankful I can hear My Father telling me over and again, even as I choke out in sobs to Him in return, "I don't want this.  I don't want this. He said in "Isaiah 55:8-11 that his plans were high above than mine, and his thoughts more elevated than mine, and his counsels should stand. The rain descended on the earth and accomplished his great plans, and so it would be with his word. His promises would be fulfilled in my life, and his designs would take effect, and there was, therefore, every encouragement to come, and partake of his favor and his grace". I am being made complete in Him. My day to day life and my future is in His hand.
I'm thankful I can finally stop to look at my wounds and don't have to investigate how they got there. I'm learning to say no in ways I've never dared -- to say yes to me and yes to God. I'm thankful for beautiful things I'm finding among the devastation of letting go.
I'm thankful I can be broken and real.  Because Jesus chooses me and made me complete in Him. And he promised me His assurance of his protection, and friendship in Isaiah 41:13

I am so thankful for my mom who is a living example of a strong woman even after all the broken years after my dad passed away, that she never complain. She takes everything calmly and prayerfully. She may not be well educated but she is the one who educate me to be girl, a woman, a human being who God created to be, to be the person I am today.
I am thankful for friends who help and understand me in both sadness and joy. Who didn't try to fix me but help me the person I am in Christ. Friends who trust that love is greater than any resolution and give their love during the journey of pain and brokenness i have gone through. Who share their own stories of struggle and dreams..... you all are awesome.
And again this year also the list goes on with lots of emotions and feelings....
I am just thankful that my Father controls everything and I have no other words to express my gratitude for His love and promises.